I'm Back Bitches!

July 1, 2017

I seem to always learn lessons the hard way. Today was no different.

I have never felt so dumb, I didn’t renew my blog and poof, files lost. How did I not renew it? How did I not know they would be gone? People say stuff on the internet lasts forever right??

Thanks to some clear headed thinking from my amazing brother he got support on the phone and managed to get a restore of the archives so I could get all my past posts back. Because who thinks to write in Word or Docs before posting? Not me, that’s who. Well, until now and forever more that is.

Until my brother worked his amazing magic (the true web guru that he is), I was in complete meltdown mode. And it shocked me. Of course I was upset about losing all my writing, and yes I was very upset at my stupidity, but I had a realization when I thought they were all gone. I realized it felt like my feelings were gone, what I went through emotionally when I first started the blog, was gone. It was overwhelming. The only connection I had to all of who I was, how I felt, was in those words.

If you had asked me last week what I thought about my old posts I would roll my eyes and say “99% of them are over dramatic, whiney rantings of an immature person” and I would have considered deleting at least half of them out of embarrassment for what I shared with the world. But now, those suckers are staying put. They are mildly ridiculous, they are Drama with a capital D. But they are mine, they are my connection to what I felt like then. They are sensory snapshots that I’m apparently way more attached to then I realized. Like my mom said, every post tracks my growth and there is nothing wrong with that.

I’ve felt very uninspired the last year. Suffering is very conducive to writing and I guess it’s a good sign that I’m not suffering as much (edit: foreshadowing!!!)! I don’t know where I am in my journey but I’m definitely not where I was.

So now that I’m feeling a little less shaky (but still very dumb) I’m going to work hard on getting back into writing more regularly. Check back soon and there will be something new for you to read! Please bear with me as I navigate the new site and how all this tech crap works. I think I’ve got all my old posts back up and working, mostly without pictures that used to be there but whatevs!

Thank you for the support and feel free to remind me to backup and save all my writing constantly!! (Thank you JJK!!!!)

Love.