Goodbye Summer

September 2, 2014

I’m sitting here on the last night of summer, in a finally quiet home (a pre bedtime argument on whether or not ottomans were made for jumping on has made the quiet even sweeter).

When you have school age kids you no longer think of summer being over on the autumnal equinox or a new year starting on January 1st. The summer ends and a new year starts the day school begins.

All day I’ve been thinking of the summer we’ve just had. As a divorcee (I’ve decided saying it this way makes me sound more fancy and mysterious) there wasn’t money in the budget for vacations this summer. For the 2nd time in a row we had to make the hard decision that the yearly family vacation to the Outer Banks wasn’t going to be possible. Boy was there a tremendous amount of whining and foot stomping! When the boys finally talked me down from that tantrum we decided a family beach day to a closer beach was the best we would get this year.

Somehow everyone in the family was able to get a week day off and head down to the Jersey shore for a full day. I was hesitant because I know a Jersey beach will have almost nothing of what I love in an obx beach. There will be a lot of people, on and off the beach. And there isn’t a fun road trip to boost your anticipation. But, the day we had was perfect. Perfect!

There is just something about the beach that relaxes you. At least it does for all of us, simply put it was magical. The beach brings out the best in each of us, and this day wonderfully summed each of us up. As I lounged in my chair I listened to my kids play bocce ball with the family and it dawned on me how “us” we were being. My dad being his sports announcer self, giving play by play of each bocce ball move. My mom being her joyous “super oma” self. My siblings and their spouses all happy and loving the ocean. And the kids having the picture perfect day full of hole digging and shell collecting.

My boys shocked me as they played in the waves. They told me on the way down they weren’t going in the water and they’d screamed bloody murder the last time we had been near the ocean! Danger was diving over and under the waves and body surfing every wave he could back to shore. Little Lion scared the hell out of me as he tried and mostly failed to stand up as each wave hit him, tumbling down, waves smashing him right in the face, popping up and yelling “Is everyone ok?!?!?” with a huge smile on his face. Laughing their adorable little heads off.

Joy and laughter truly is good for the soul. I didn’t even mind the crowds on the beach or the crowds on the boardwalk as we made our way to find dinner at the end of the day. My children declared it the best day of summer and as I sit here and think about that day and our whole summer, I completely agree. And because of that wonderful summer day that forced us all to slow down and take a breath, because of that day, I see them. I see you Danger and Little Lion.

Danger, I see that you are an observer. Someone who has to sit back and watch and determine all outcomes before daring to do something. I see that sometimes you sit back and observe so much that you miss out on something you really wish that you had done. That day at the beach I saw you make a split decision to get out there, no matter what your inner observer was saying, and it served you well. You were so alive and and amazing and I love to see you laugh at something that normally would scare you.

Little, I see that you are a wild and hilarious little maniac. You can have fun absolutely anywhere. You act first and think later and that day it served you well. You attacked those waves as if you’d been in the ocean a million times before. You found strangers to talk to (albeit awkwardly) and kept us all laughing with your infectious joy.

We were us that day. And it made my summer. I am praying, on this last lazy night, that the feeling we had that day carries on into this new year ahead of us. That as the days get more hectic and full and scheduled, I still take time to hear the waves and squeals of laughter and continually see my boys for the wonderful little ‘stinks’ that they are.

This summer might not have been what we would have dreamed up if money and jobs weren’t an issue. I might not have done all the crafts and projects I thought I should do to make it a “worthwhile” summer. There weren’t many grand adventures and trips. But somehow, I’m ok with that. We survived, we had fun, we were family.